Showing posts with label young adult. Show all posts
Showing posts with label young adult. Show all posts

Friday, October 12, 2012

NANOWRIMO- READY-SET....!!!!

As I mentioned in my last post I plan to do nano this year. This will be my first year, and I must say I am pretty excited. This year I have really immersed myself in my writing and am seriously looking to complete my first novel.


What I'm doing to prepare

I will be meeting with my local writers group twice a week hashing out plots and get mentally ready for this challenge.

I've charged up my Starbucks gold card, for those emergency white chocolate mochas:)

My family is on alert, they've been warned if a women with dread locs standing on top of her head, face twisted as if she just ate a child and is hungry for another emerges out of my bedroom. Run Far and Fast

My fridge and cupboards is stock with mouth and finger busy foods such as: cashew peanuts, cheetos(hidden in my night table so my husband don't find them), bottle water and grapes. Did I mention coffee? 

If you will be participating in nanawrimo this year add your check list in the comments, just in case I forgot something:)

oh and look me up so we can be buddies...

Friday, October 5, 2012

Get Your Pitch On! REVISION- PATH UNCHOSEN!!!

Hey ALL!!! Kim has made some revisions to her pitch let's all chime in and offer our critique!!! Thanks in advance.



Name: Kim Cleary


Country of residence: Australia
Title: Path Unchosen
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Word-count: 89,000



 Judy Hudson can command the dead. She's the only person who can stop the ruthless Mayor raising dead people and using fear to cement his power. And she has to act quickly to defeat a 200-year-old sorcerer before he gains enough strength to control her. A path towards unimagined power opens to her, can she follow it without losing the people she loves and intimacy she craves?


 WOW! Kim, this is great I feel like I am reading about a new story. I am even more intrigued. I just have a couple of ideas.


 And She has to act quickly to defeat a 200-year-old sorcerer before he gains enough strength to control her. I would take out the And, it's not needed and slows down the flow.

A path towards unimagined power opens to her, can she follow it without losing the people she loves and intimacy she craves? Maybe unimaginable works better here 

 Question: Are the mayor and this 200 year old sorcerer the same or two different antagonist ( which is how it reads now)? If it's not your intent you should make it clear to the reader. 

She's the only person who can stop the ruthless Mayor raising dead people and using fear to cement his power. She's the only person who can stop the ruthless Mayor, whose using fear by raising the dead to cement his power.(suggestion)


Monday, October 1, 2012

GET YOUR PITCH ON!!! #1


Workshops for Get Your Pitch On will start on today October 1, there is no date deadline for the workshops.







Name: Meagan
Country of residence: United States
Title: GRAND SCHEME
Genre: YA Contemporary
Word-count: 75,000


Pitch:  Sixteen-year-old Bianca's best friend Yessica fell to her death
from a ledge at the Grand Canyon. Everyone thinks it's an accident,
but Bianca knows the truth. They made a pact to jump. When Yessica's
ex, the lovable nerd Harvey, finds Yessica's suicide note, he asks too
many questions. If Bianca doesn't come clean about the pact and face
the consequences, Harvey might spill it for her.


Meagan, you have my attention, I really want to know why two teenage girls would make a suicide pact.  I think if you added what some of the consequences are or at least the main one(given the limited word) it will give more impact. Below is just my suggestion. It's difficult since I don't know the story but here's goes anyway.



Sixteen year old best friends Bianca and Yessica made a suicide pact one in which only one girl keeps while the other tries to maintain their secret. Things unravel when Harvey Yessica's ex-boyfriend finds her suicide note and threatens to reveal their secret. 




I think getting rid of things like lovablenerdy, where Yessica jumps from gives you more space to add pertinent info that will draw the reader in. In my opinion you want to make your pitch jump off the page grab you reader push them to the edge of their seat and just dangle them there, even after the book ends. Just my opinion I hope it helps. 
Please feel free to offer your opinion on how to make Meagan's pitch stronger, thanks for stopping by.




INFO ON HOW TO PARTICIPATE AND GET YOUR PITCH ON!!!!!!!!!

Important Rule: If you want to participate in a workshop, you must be prepared to comment on at least one other pitch.
How to submit: Email your draft pitch to pitchonws@gmail.com and include PitchOnWS and the title of the manuscript in the subject line. Pitches must follow the formatting as specified for the Get Your Pitch On contest. If you missed if before check out this post here and you can see the list of blogs participating here.

Interview with Commissioning and Managing Editor of Hardie Grant Egmont, Marisa Pintado, will be coming up soon, so that you have an idea what she's looking for before she takes your pitches both here on Down Under Wonderings and on my group blog YAtopia on October 15th. The exact contest opening times will be included in that post.

ADDITIONALLY, there is an opportunity for you to win a ten page critique from some of the blog hosts: "Make sure to check out all of the workshop host blogs to critique more pitches. For each critique you leave in the comments, you get an entry into the drawing to win one of eight 10-page critiques from our contest host Sharon Johnston and workshop hosts Larissa HardestyStephanie DiazCatherine ScullyJodie AndrefskiPaula SangareTalynn Lynn and Kaitlin Adams, "Also, Sarah Nicolas will be giving away three query critiques!"

  Please use the exact same name for all of your critiques. The opportunity ends 10/14/2012." 



Stop by and visit all participating blogs and lend your critique. Listed below are links to all blogs. You can find a list of all the participating blogs HERE


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

*revise* Excerpt Sapphire's Dawn

After some very good advise I made a few changes to my prologue, if you have the time please take a moment to critique. Thank you Stacey and Jess!! thanks #GUTGAA-ANS




Prologue

“Where did she come from?”

“I don't know the young ones found her near the forbidden waters she's not a familiar so they brought her here while she is still unconscious. She has no light doctor, that's impossible right?”

My chest rise and fall uncontrollably. I stretch my eyes wide trying to control my breathing hoping to see past the darkness surrounding me. Who are these voices? Frozen, the need to thrash about and yell consumes me, the fear is relentless it grips my throat holding back sound.

“No. It's not entirely impossible to not have a light.”

Startled at the sound of this voice an older male the one the high shrieked voice calls doctor. The high shriek voice is harder to decipher whether it’s male or female, the pubescent tone was familiar like so many sophomores yelling down the halls on their first day of high school. Zara, are you okay can you hear me?” Mrs. Kensington? I want to answer but at what risk? OMG, I’m dreaming in class again!

“What are you going to do with her doc?” the younger voice interrupts my thoughts of horror. As if being the don't touch or talk to me because I am not interested in joining your clubs or cliques girl isn't enough, I have to also be the freak that falls asleep in class. Kill me now because it will take weeks for this to blow over. The last time this happened I didn’t return to school for a week the taunts were unbearable. After a week people were more worried about me having committed suicide or something more morbid then that.

“How is it possible for one of us not to have a light doc?”

“Please, get the elders, tell them there is a hybrid in our mist they will know what to do.”

“A hybrid? But I thought they didn’t exist, the mere mention is what caused the last uprising” the voice is higher if at all possible. The pounding of his footsteps abuse the hard floor as he run hastily from the room. Hybrid...huh. Focus Zara, must wake up.

Click clack all at once the thumping of several sets of approaching feet invades my ears. More voices three or four riddle with fear in the distance. I could still hear the doctor and the high pitched voice Vincent someone calls him. A boy go figure. My breathing instinctively labors as the thudding feet get louder the closer the get to me.

“Impossible. How did she get here?” A much older male voice shouts.

“We don't know Elder Sythe, but with no light the question ‘here’ becomes in our world.”

“We must get rid of her before the others knows she is here.” Elder Sythe demands.

The doctor interject saying, “I think we should see what we can learn from it. Open it up see why it doesn’t have a light. Maybe we can learn where it came from.”

“Nonsense doctor, we don’t need the threat of another uprising, we wont survive it. The other elders and I will convene and once we make the decision  to destroy, It will be done at nightfall.”

“So is she a hybrid?” Vincent’s says with panic in his voice, I could hear my heart thud behind my ears.

Get rid of me!?

“What if the others elders agree with me?” the doctor asserts.

“They wont I can assure you that,” I could tell Elder Sythe is in control.

“Elder Sythe it’s the same one from before.” The doctor voice is a nervous whisper.

“What!” Elder Sythe roared. How is this possible you said you destroyed it.”

“I did, destroy it just as you instructed immediately.”

Destroyed! Uncontrollable trembles erupt from my body.

“If you destroyed it, why is it lying on this table? How is she back?” Another voice asks.

Give me the chance to learn these answers you seek. Allow me two days to perform test and experiments,” the doctor pleading to decimate my body.

“Absolutely not! Destroy it” Elder Sythe says forceful he is no longer asking.

“Ask yourself

Elder Sythe, is the portal open, how did this creature survive the trip to our world, and she’s alive living breathing in our atmosphere. Can you explain that? If she is not an Empyrean and she is surely not the girl from last time, then the only thing that explains here being here, is that she has to be a hybrid.” A collective gasp fills the room.

“There are no such beings as hybrids and we all thank you to not spread rumors. Are you trying to cause another uprising? Our kind can not mate with human it is not possible those are just old fables told to the young ones to keep them from trouble. You are much to wise to believe such tales.”

“Well then how do you explain this human girl with no light in our world?” Anger infuses the doctors shout.

Why can't I wake up?

“I will tell you this in all my five centuries I have never seen or heard of a sighting of hybrid. This fact is not because we don’t believe in them, but because they can not and do not exist. To end this fruitless debate, I vote now that we destroy this being immediately it is already beginning to taint your views”

“Not without the other elders,” the doctors voice trembles

No one answers him, all the voices in the room each vote yes to destroy me at once. The fact that this is just a dream gives little comfort as a jolt of fear rattles my bones. A slight breeze on my face as my body is whisked away. Rumbling and whistling wheels roll faster taking me to my destruction, my heart pounding to its rhythm. The temperature went from cool to bolstering hot. Beads of sweat fall from my face faster then they form. Sweat trickling down my back and legs. The heat is stifling; my lungs ache while searching for air. My skin withers, like burnt ashes. Sounds of crackling and popping fill the space like a camp fire, oh god. I let out a scream once I realize what is happening. There was no pain, just the feeling of suffocating. Is this what it’s like to be on fire? The thought evokes blood curdling scream to form in my throat that never leave my lips. Darkness, quiet, I’m alone. I felt something cold on my forehead, I hear my name.

“Zara, wake up come back to us.” Mom! Mom! I can’t breathe so the sound suffocates. Something cool brushes my face, weak I drudge up another attempt to find air with every ounce of strength left. I inhale coughing after filling my lungs; I exhale a ferrous scream... “MOM!”

I’m back.






50 page Critique by RuthAnne! #gutgaa

#GUTGAA 50 PAGE GIVE-A-WAY!!!!!!!!!!

YES! I Said GIVE-A-WAY

As a part of this awesome blogfest hosted by Deana, there is a contest for a 50 page critique from the amazing  RuthAnne. So hop on over to her blog for more details. You don't want to miss out on this ...heck you can't miss out on this.


OH YEAH, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!!! 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Critique Partners and Groups #GUTGAA!!

MAKE THE CONNECTION







I am so happy that I found about gutgaa, it has given me the chance to meet new authors and find other blogs with a host of information. It has also encouraged me to stay the course. Although I am not finish with my MS I am working even harder to complete it. 

Which brings me today's post, I need a critique partner or a group. If you know of other searching or are searching your self, I would really like to chat with you and see if we are a match. I appreciate all the help I have received on this journey but find that most are already connected.
Gutgaa, is great what Deana is doing is amazing and no small task, I hope to forge some great friendships from participating. If you are interested please place a comment on this post. If you already have partner(s) but know someone who is searching, please share this post/my blog. I really appreciate your help.

Again thanks for stopping by, don't be a stranger.


Sunday, September 9, 2012

Inspiration for my MS


What do you think when you see this picture? 






I love this picture it's one of many that gives me inspiration for my current WIP.  I know it's kinda cliche-ish, the princess lost in the woods  can you see the white horse and the gallant prince and his men following behind on the way to rescue her. No my current MS doesn't take place in a forest, so why this photo.
To me it just screams magical and mythical.  Who knows maybe it will inspire my next WIP.



...and this one

I couldn't get it turned the right side up. Now you know my secret. Yes this has a lot to do with my current ms. I was pondering over rather to title the book Dawn or Sapphire's Dawn. My morning commute is just before daybreak it always makes me think of the characters in my book. Something about the sky the way the clouds dance and form the most amazing picture. I found it interesting and yet dangerous driving at this time because I can't take my eyes off the sky.

The water is also an inspiration, my MC is from an island and on my drive I cross a long bridge. As I cross all I  see is water and sky(and cars of course if I'm paying attention...kidding of course), I love it. Peaceful and majestic, it makes me feel like I can step into my story, my fantasy.
Side Note: I love my ms, I can't wait to get it all out, not to share it with the world, but to see where my characters take me and where the end up.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Critique and BETA Connections


1) Name and a one sentence intro of who you are.
Paula Sangare. I am a mother, daughter, sister,  wife, and BFF. I love all things beauty and writing has always been a secret passion. 
2) What do you write (age target and general genres).
YA Fantasy
3) Are you ready to jump right in and begin submitting your work to another?
YES
4) Are you looking for a critique partner or a group?
I'm open to both
5) Would you prefer to submit weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or as needed? And how much would you like to submit each time (chapter, 2 chapters, etc)?
Weekly or Bi-weekly a chapter at a time.
6) What kind of critique feedback are you looking for?
I want the basics, as well as ideas on how I could maybe tighten a statement, or if it needs to be said differently to get my point across. I hope that answers this question.
7) How can I contact you? (email)
psangare51@gmail.com


BETA READER


1) A brief introduction.
I'm a new author the MS I'm working on now is my second attempt. The first is still a work in progress. I finally decided to take the time to write seriously and dedicate time to write. I have a family and a business that keeps me busy, writing has become an escape.
2) Is it only for a current WIP or are you looking for someone long term?
I'm looking for someone long term
3) If current what is the project (a one sentence summary along with genre and age target)
YA Fantasy about Sapphire a seventeen year old high school student who learns Earth is not her home.
4) If long term what do you like to write (age target and general genres)
I love YA Epic Fantasy, and all it entails, I love creating new worlds
5) Do you have something ready now? When do you anticipate having something ready/needing a BETA Reader?I am on target to complete my MS by November 1st

Monday, May 14, 2012

Let Me Tell You Something...

How to tell a story

So, I'm writing my novel right, but it's still a secret to most of the people I know. Why you ask. Truth is I don't feel I'm qualified to say I'm a writer. Am I?

What make a writer a writer?
When can you call yourself an author?

Why I decided to write my first novel?

I believe we all have it in us, our first novel that is. How many times have you heard..." you did what/what happened to you girl you should write a book."
Then suddenly you think your life is interesting enough to put it down on paper. At first you are not really sure if you will share it with the world, but you know you want to tell people about all your family drama and failed relationships.

If you are like me after having the first epiphany, suddenly I realize I didn't want people to know  every intimate detail about my life, so I create a story based loosely on my life. And sure before I get to chapter two the entire story line had changed and soon the entire bookwas abandoned.

the idea of writing my first novel was and still is top of my list of things to do before I die. I have been serious about doing it a couple times. Only to abandon my project a few months in. I let life happen and always say I will come back to it later.

I always do, come back that is. however many life changing events later I have a much different story. This time however has been different.

Are you a good story teller?

This time I thought about why I wanted to write these stories I had been trying to write for twelve years (at this point), I found that these things didn't really interest me. Nor did they show what I was really passionate about. I started to focus on things I like such as books and movies, even television shows. most people who know me, know that I am attracted to vampires, werewolves, witches and magic definitely magic.

I could come up with a story about fairies and magic in my head easily and enjoy it. This is how/when I found apart of my genre. throughout my research( which I hadn't done before. I just decided I wanted to write and I went for it) I found that not only did I need a genre, but a target market of that genre.
I thought about who I liked to read about and young adults was where I fit in(I was surprise to find out that some say YA was as young as 12).

Once I learned where I fit in as a writer who I was as a writer became clearer to me. I could see my strengths and my weakness better. This help me to grow and become better. I became more serious about starting and finishing my first novel.

Then the question came, can I tell a story. Most people think you have an idea in your head and then you put it to paper. truth is constructing a story from beginning to middle to end is truly an art form not many master well or at all. Most may consider finishing a novel a feat in itself and wouldn't worry about it ever being publish. Completion of a novel is a reward alone( I have learned this lately).

This entry has become longer then I expected so I won't bore you much longer and save the rest for a later entry. Thanks for stopping by and leave a comment answer some of the questiions in this entry I would love to hear about it