I try to always be PC and trust me I never want to offend anyone. With that said I would like to send a BIG APOLOGY!!!! TO Ellie and Ellie2 for posting content from her blog here on my blog.
I absolutely love her blog it's a wealth of info. I always send other writers in my circle over to her blog. The reason I actually posted the content was because someone asked me what other pitch contest where happening around the blogs. I sent her a link to Ellie's blog after gushing over how great she was and telling her to follow. I then had the clever idea to post that info from her blog (bad thing).
I honestly didn't mean to offend her or anyone I was just trying to pass on info for those who may not know. As I am in the dark a lot about things happening in the blog-a-sphere for writers.
I found out about GUTGAA from Angie, thank you.
I posted a comment on Ellie's page thanking her for a wonderful blog, and I should have taken that opportunity to ask permission. It won't happen again. Again Ellie I am a fan, and I apologize for copying your info. Thanks for the lesson in blog etiquette
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Get Your Pitch On Workshops!!
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Thank you all so much for stopping by. I am super excited about this contest, please stop by and help out on October 1. There are no requirements to join this blog to participate, but it would be way cool if you did as well as comment to help all the fellow authors participating. Below you will find all the details.
There is no date deadline for the workshops. Each blog has allocated a set number of pitches that they can host and once those spots are full then no more submissions will be taken.
Important Rule: If you want to participate in a workshop, you must be prepared to comment on at least one other pitch.
How to submit: Email your draft pitch to pitchonws@gmail.com and include PitchOnWS and the title of the manuscript in the subject line. Pitches must follow the formatting as specified for the Get Your Pitch On contest. If you missed if before check out this post here and you can see the list of blogs participating here.
Draft pitches will be evenly distributed between host blogs.
And interview with Commissioning and Managing Editor of Hardie Grant Egmont, Marisa Pintado, will be coming up soon on my blog so that you have an idea what she's looking for before she takes your pitches both here on Down Under Wonderings and on my group blog YAtopia on October 15th. The exact contest opening times will be included in that post.
ADDITIONALLY, there is an opportunity for you to win a ten page critique from some of the blog hosts: "Make sure to check out all of the workshop host blogs to critique more pitches. For each critique you leave in the comments, you get an entry into the drawing to win one of eight 10-page critiques from our contest host Sharon Johnston and workshop hosts Larissa Hardesty, Stephanie Diaz, Catherine Scully, Jodie Andrefski, Paula Sangare, Talynn Lynn and Kaitlin Adams, "Also, Sarah Nicolas will be giving away three query critiques!"
Please use the exact same name for all of your critiques. The opportunity ends 10/14/2012."
Have fun honing your pitches!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
GET YOUR PITCH ON OCTOBER
Here's the details you've been waiting for!
Commissioning and Managing Editor of Hardie Grant Egmont, Marisa Pintado, will be poised and ready to take your pitches both here on Down Under Wonderings and on my group blog YAtopia on October 15th.
Marisa is looking for YA in any genre and is accepting submissions from any where in the world. It's your chance to skip the slush pile and put your pitch right under the nose of a fantastic editor. There's even better news - there is no limit on how many requests Marisa will make from the contest.
Here's the rules:
Name: Sharon Johnston
Email: smjohnston [ @ ] live.com.au
Country of residence: Australia
Title: SLEEPER
Genre: Speculative Fiction
Word-count: 58,000
Pitch: Seventeen-year-old Mishca Richardson is a sleeper soldier with a weak heart. She has no idea that a life saving heart transplant has accidentally triggered her programming. In the search for answers, she discovers the truth and that her creator, Wirth, has classified her remaining "sisters" from her experiment group as defective, scheduling them for termination. Mishca sets out to save them before they're eliminated.
Just as it's important to get someone else to look over your manuscript before you query, it's a good idea to get feedback on your pitch before you post. We have about twenty blogs who are ready to help you hone your pitch. These workshops start on October 1 and you can find the list of blogs participating here.
Commissioning and Managing Editor of Hardie Grant Egmont, Marisa Pintado, will be poised and ready to take your pitches both here on Down Under Wonderings and on my group blog YAtopia on October 15th.
Marisa is looking for YA in any genre and is accepting submissions from any where in the world. It's your chance to skip the slush pile and put your pitch right under the nose of a fantastic editor. There's even better news - there is no limit on how many requests Marisa will make from the contest.
Here's the rules:
- Your manuscript must be complete, polished and ready to query - this means no first drafts or almost finished manuscripts.
- It must be YA.
- When the contest goes live on October 15th, post your entry details in the comments section of either YAtopia or Down Under Wonderings - each blog is accepting 100 entries only.
- Your entry detail needs to include a 50 - 70 word pitch.
- You can enter more than once if you have more than one complete, polished, ready to query manuscript.
Name: Sharon Johnston
Email: smjohnston [ @ ] live.com.au
Country of residence: Australia
Title: SLEEPER
Genre: Speculative Fiction
Word-count: 58,000
Pitch: Seventeen-year-old Mishca Richardson is a sleeper soldier with a weak heart. She has no idea that a life saving heart transplant has accidentally triggered her programming. In the search for answers, she discovers the truth and that her creator, Wirth, has classified her remaining "sisters" from her experiment group as defective, scheduling them for termination. Mishca sets out to save them before they're eliminated.
Just as it's important to get someone else to look over your manuscript before you query, it's a good idea to get feedback on your pitch before you post. We have about twenty blogs who are ready to help you hone your pitch. These workshops start on October 1 and you can find the list of blogs participating here.
Friday, September 21, 2012
GET YOUR PITCH ON WORKSHOP
I'M A HOST BLOG FOR
Here's the rules:
- Your manuscript must be complete, polished and ready to query - this means no first drafts or almost finished manuscripts.
- It must be YA.
- When the contest goes live on October 15th, post your entry details in the comments section of either YAtopia or Down Under Wonderings - each blog is accepting 100 entries only.
- Your entry detail needs to include a 50 - 70 word pitch.
- You can enter more than once if you have more than one complete, polished, ready to query manuscript.
I'm one of the 26 blogs hosting pitch feed back October 1!
Want more information? Check it out
Want to be a host for the Get Your Pitch On polish? Sign up here.
Looking for other blogs hosting the Get Your Pitch On polish? They're here.
I'm not participating as my MS is still a WIP, but I can't wait to finish all these contest are so exciting and the information you can take away is invaluable. Good luck to all the participants!!!
I'll share more information as I get it. Be sure to bookmark YAtopia and Down Under Wonderings for the latest news.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
October Challenge
With Gutgaa and Pith Madness and all these new blog things going on I have to make time for work and writing..
I must admit I am having a blast, and I absolutely love meeting new writers and talking about books, books and more books.
So to add to the pile, here is another blog Challenge I've been ask to partake in, and I must admit I am pretty excited to do . If you want to know just click HERE
I hope you can join, I can't wait to read all the fun post.
I must admit I am having a blast, and I absolutely love meeting new writers and talking about books, books and more books.
So to add to the pile, here is another blog Challenge I've been ask to partake in, and I must admit I am pretty excited to do . If you want to know just click HERE
I hope you can join, I can't wait to read all the fun post.
Pen 2 Paper: Short Stories
Pen 2 Paper: Short Stories: Death Why Is It So Long...? Drowning didn't seem like a bad way to die. At least that's what I told myself as I succumb to the pitc...
Monday, September 17, 2012
Does anyone use Scrivener
Hey all, does anyone use scrivener to write your novel?
Someone recommended I use it, said it's a good tool for organizing your story. I will admit there are some pretty cool features and it really does help with organizing it all.
For me there is something about the simplicity on actually writing on paper that sparks my create flow. This is how I usually map out a story. From there I use micro word to work in. what I love about scrivener is it breaks the scenes and chapters up for you. IF you are a sticky not and 3x5 index card user you will love it as well. These are features I haven't utilized as of yet.
I love the research and notes features normally I have these items pinned all over my computer, so this is a big help.
Over all I think it is a great tool, maybe if I master all the features it would be more beneficial for me.
Does anyone know of any other programs? Have you used scrivener and can compare it to something you like better. Maybe I'll try it. Maybe you use scrivener and love you can offer me some pointers on how to use it better.
Thanks for stopping by , don't be a stranger.
Someone recommended I use it, said it's a good tool for organizing your story. I will admit there are some pretty cool features and it really does help with organizing it all.
For me there is something about the simplicity on actually writing on paper that sparks my create flow. This is how I usually map out a story. From there I use micro word to work in. what I love about scrivener is it breaks the scenes and chapters up for you. IF you are a sticky not and 3x5 index card user you will love it as well. These are features I haven't utilized as of yet.
I love the research and notes features normally I have these items pinned all over my computer, so this is a big help.
Over all I think it is a great tool, maybe if I master all the features it would be more beneficial for me.
Does anyone know of any other programs? Have you used scrivener and can compare it to something you like better. Maybe I'll try it. Maybe you use scrivener and love you can offer me some pointers on how to use it better.
Thanks for stopping by , don't be a stranger.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
So... I was tagged!!
I was tagged by the fabulous Heather Bryant stop by and show her some love if you haven't already.
Thank you Heather this is a lot of FUN,i needed a break:)
What is the working title of your book?
That a good Question.. no really right now it's Sapphire's Dawn
Where did the idea come from for the book?
I really can't remember I know that I created the people from my fantasy world first I knew what they were and what their purpose was. Funny thing is that who they are is the reason I haven't completed my MS.
What genre does your book fall under?
YA Fantasy I think during #GUTGAA I was classified under horror, goth, and epic I think. You can get the just of it from these:0
Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
I only had one actress in mind for my MC and I never really thought of famous people for my supporting cast:) however I always find myself relating them to real life people I run across
The role of Zara Sapphire Stillos , I would love to have the beautiful Zoe Saldana
What is a one sentence synopsis of your book?
Twin cousins share more in common then looks,` when one is astral projected into another world only to find she is not a stranger there.
Will your book be self-published or represented by an agent?
Without a doubt represented by an agent, but I believe in my story so maybe I will do a Marissa Myers and self publish sell a ton and have agents search for me:)
How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
I am 2 years in and still not completed:(
What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?
There are a lot of twist and turns, as soon as your stomach settles another nerve racking adventure ensues. There are also a few surprises
Who will I tag ..hmm
TAG! You're it!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
*revise* Excerpt Sapphire's Dawn
After some very good advise I made a few changes to my prologue, if you have the time please take a moment to critique. Thank you Stacey and Jess!! thanks #GUTGAA-ANS
Prologue
“Where did she come from?”
“I don't know the young ones found her near the forbidden waters she's not a familiar so they brought her here while she is still unconscious. She has no light doctor, that's impossible right?”
My chest rise and fall uncontrollably. I stretch my eyes wide trying to control my breathing hoping to see past the darkness surrounding me. Who are these voices? Frozen, the need to thrash about and yell consumes me, the fear is relentless it grips my throat holding back sound.
“No. It's not entirely impossible to not have a light.”
Startled at the sound of this voice an older male the one the high shrieked voice calls doctor. The high shriek voice is harder to decipher whether it’s male or female, the pubescent tone was familiar like so many sophomores yelling down the halls on their first day of high school. Zara, are you okay can you hear me?” Mrs. Kensington? I want to answer but at what risk? OMG, I’m dreaming in class again!
“What are you going to do with her doc?” the younger voice interrupts my thoughts of horror. As if being the don't touch or talk to me because I am not interested in joining your clubs or cliques girl isn't enough, I have to also be the freak that falls asleep in class. Kill me now because it will take weeks for this to blow over. The last time this happened I didn’t return to school for a week the taunts were unbearable. After a week people were more worried about me having committed suicide or something more morbid then that.
“How is it possible for one of us not to have a light doc?”
“Please, get the elders, tell them there is a hybrid in our mist they will know what to do.”
“A hybrid? But I thought they didn’t exist, the mere mention is what caused the last uprising” the voice is higher if at all possible. The pounding of his footsteps abuse the hard floor as he run hastily from the room. Hybrid...huh. Focus Zara, must wake up.
Click clack all at once the thumping of several sets of approaching feet invades my ears. More voices three or four riddle with fear in the distance. I could still hear the doctor and the high pitched voice Vincent someone calls him. A boy go figure. My breathing instinctively labors as the thudding feet get louder the closer the get to me.
“Impossible. How did she get here?” A much older male voice shouts.
“We don't know Elder Sythe, but with no light the question ‘here’ becomes in our world.”
“We must get rid of her before the others knows she is here.” Elder Sythe demands.
The doctor interject saying, “I think we should see what we can learn from it. Open it up see why it doesn’t have a light. Maybe we can learn where it came from.”
“Nonsense doctor, we don’t need the threat of another uprising, we wont survive it. The other elders and I will convene and once we make the decision to destroy, It will be done at nightfall.”
“So is she a hybrid?” Vincent’s says with panic in his voice, I could hear my heart thud behind my ears.
Get rid of me!?
“What if the others elders agree with me?” the doctor asserts.
“They wont I can assure you that,” I could tell Elder Sythe is in control.
“Elder Sythe it’s the same one from before.” The doctor voice is a nervous whisper.
“What!” Elder Sythe roared. How is this possible you said you destroyed it.”
“I did, destroy it just as you instructed immediately.”
Destroyed! Uncontrollable trembles erupt from my body.
“If you destroyed it, why is it lying on this table? How is she back?” Another voice asks.
Give me the chance to learn these answers you seek. Allow me two days to perform test and experiments,” the doctor pleading to decimate my body.
“Absolutely not! Destroy it” Elder Sythe says forceful he is no longer asking.
“Ask yourself
Elder Sythe, is the portal open, how did this creature survive the trip to our world, and she’s alive living breathing in our atmosphere. Can you explain that? If she is not an Empyrean and she is surely not the girl from last time, then the only thing that explains here being here, is that she has to be a hybrid.” A collective gasp fills the room.
“There are no such beings as hybrids and we all thank you to not spread rumors. Are you trying to cause another uprising? Our kind can not mate with human it is not possible those are just old fables told to the young ones to keep them from trouble. You are much to wise to believe such tales.”
“Well then how do you explain this human girl with no light in our world?” Anger infuses the doctors shout.
Why can't I wake up?
“I will tell you this in all my five centuries I have never seen or heard of a sighting of hybrid. This fact is not because we don’t believe in them, but because they can not and do not exist. To end this fruitless debate, I vote now that we destroy this being immediately it is already beginning to taint your views”
“Not without the other elders,” the doctors voice trembles
No one answers him, all the voices in the room each vote yes to destroy me at once. The fact that this is just a dream gives little comfort as a jolt of fear rattles my bones. A slight breeze on my face as my body is whisked away. Rumbling and whistling wheels roll faster taking me to my destruction, my heart pounding to its rhythm. The temperature went from cool to bolstering hot. Beads of sweat fall from my face faster then they form. Sweat trickling down my back and legs. The heat is stifling; my lungs ache while searching for air. My skin withers, like burnt ashes. Sounds of crackling and popping fill the space like a camp fire, oh god. I let out a scream once I realize what is happening. There was no pain, just the feeling of suffocating. Is this what it’s like to be on fire? The thought evokes blood curdling scream to form in my throat that never leave my lips. Darkness, quiet, I’m alone. I felt something cold on my forehead, I hear my name.
“Zara, wake up come back to us.” Mom! Mom! I can’t breathe so the sound suffocates. Something cool brushes my face, weak I drudge up another attempt to find air with every ounce of strength left. I inhale coughing after filling my lungs; I exhale a ferrous scream... “MOM!”
I’m back.
Prologue
“Where did she come from?”
“I don't know the young ones found her near the forbidden waters she's not a familiar so they brought her here while she is still unconscious. She has no light doctor, that's impossible right?”
My chest rise and fall uncontrollably. I stretch my eyes wide trying to control my breathing hoping to see past the darkness surrounding me. Who are these voices? Frozen, the need to thrash about and yell consumes me, the fear is relentless it grips my throat holding back sound.
“No. It's not entirely impossible to not have a light.”
Startled at the sound of this voice an older male the one the high shrieked voice calls doctor. The high shriek voice is harder to decipher whether it’s male or female, the pubescent tone was familiar like so many sophomores yelling down the halls on their first day of high school. Zara, are you okay can you hear me?” Mrs. Kensington? I want to answer but at what risk? OMG, I’m dreaming in class again!
“What are you going to do with her doc?” the younger voice interrupts my thoughts of horror. As if being the don't touch or talk to me because I am not interested in joining your clubs or cliques girl isn't enough, I have to also be the freak that falls asleep in class. Kill me now because it will take weeks for this to blow over. The last time this happened I didn’t return to school for a week the taunts were unbearable. After a week people were more worried about me having committed suicide or something more morbid then that.
“How is it possible for one of us not to have a light doc?”
“Please, get the elders, tell them there is a hybrid in our mist they will know what to do.”
“A hybrid? But I thought they didn’t exist, the mere mention is what caused the last uprising” the voice is higher if at all possible. The pounding of his footsteps abuse the hard floor as he run hastily from the room. Hybrid...huh. Focus Zara, must wake up.
Click clack all at once the thumping of several sets of approaching feet invades my ears. More voices three or four riddle with fear in the distance. I could still hear the doctor and the high pitched voice Vincent someone calls him. A boy go figure. My breathing instinctively labors as the thudding feet get louder the closer the get to me.
“Impossible. How did she get here?” A much older male voice shouts.
“We don't know Elder Sythe, but with no light the question ‘here’ becomes in our world.”
“We must get rid of her before the others knows she is here.” Elder Sythe demands.
The doctor interject saying, “I think we should see what we can learn from it. Open it up see why it doesn’t have a light. Maybe we can learn where it came from.”
“Nonsense doctor, we don’t need the threat of another uprising, we wont survive it. The other elders and I will convene and once we make the decision to destroy, It will be done at nightfall.”
“So is she a hybrid?” Vincent’s says with panic in his voice, I could hear my heart thud behind my ears.
Get rid of me!?
“What if the others elders agree with me?” the doctor asserts.
“They wont I can assure you that,” I could tell Elder Sythe is in control.
“Elder Sythe it’s the same one from before.” The doctor voice is a nervous whisper.
“What!” Elder Sythe roared. How is this possible you said you destroyed it.”
“I did, destroy it just as you instructed immediately.”
Destroyed! Uncontrollable trembles erupt from my body.
“If you destroyed it, why is it lying on this table? How is she back?” Another voice asks.
Give me the chance to learn these answers you seek. Allow me two days to perform test and experiments,” the doctor pleading to decimate my body.
“Absolutely not! Destroy it” Elder Sythe says forceful he is no longer asking.
“Ask yourself
Elder Sythe, is the portal open, how did this creature survive the trip to our world, and she’s alive living breathing in our atmosphere. Can you explain that? If she is not an Empyrean and she is surely not the girl from last time, then the only thing that explains here being here, is that she has to be a hybrid.” A collective gasp fills the room.
“There are no such beings as hybrids and we all thank you to not spread rumors. Are you trying to cause another uprising? Our kind can not mate with human it is not possible those are just old fables told to the young ones to keep them from trouble. You are much to wise to believe such tales.”
“Well then how do you explain this human girl with no light in our world?” Anger infuses the doctors shout.
Why can't I wake up?
“I will tell you this in all my five centuries I have never seen or heard of a sighting of hybrid. This fact is not because we don’t believe in them, but because they can not and do not exist. To end this fruitless debate, I vote now that we destroy this being immediately it is already beginning to taint your views”
“Not without the other elders,” the doctors voice trembles
No one answers him, all the voices in the room each vote yes to destroy me at once. The fact that this is just a dream gives little comfort as a jolt of fear rattles my bones. A slight breeze on my face as my body is whisked away. Rumbling and whistling wheels roll faster taking me to my destruction, my heart pounding to its rhythm. The temperature went from cool to bolstering hot. Beads of sweat fall from my face faster then they form. Sweat trickling down my back and legs. The heat is stifling; my lungs ache while searching for air. My skin withers, like burnt ashes. Sounds of crackling and popping fill the space like a camp fire, oh god. I let out a scream once I realize what is happening. There was no pain, just the feeling of suffocating. Is this what it’s like to be on fire? The thought evokes blood curdling scream to form in my throat that never leave my lips. Darkness, quiet, I’m alone. I felt something cold on my forehead, I hear my name.
“Zara, wake up come back to us.” Mom! Mom! I can’t breathe so the sound suffocates. Something cool brushes my face, weak I drudge up another attempt to find air with every ounce of strength left. I inhale coughing after filling my lungs; I exhale a ferrous scream... “MOM!”
I’m back.
50 page Critique by RuthAnne! #gutgaa
#GUTGAA 50 PAGE GIVE-A-WAY!!!!!!!!!!
YES! I Said GIVE-A-WAY
As a part of this awesome blogfest hosted by Deana, there is a contest for a 50 page critique from the amazing RuthAnne. So hop on over to her blog for more details. You don't want to miss out on this ...heck you can't miss out on this.
OH YEAH, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Critique Partners and Groups #GUTGAA!!
MAKE THE CONNECTION
I am so happy that I found about gutgaa, it has given me the chance to meet new authors and find other blogs with a host of information. It has also encouraged me to stay the course. Although I am not finish with my MS I am working even harder to complete it.
Which brings me today's post, I need a critique partner or a group. If you know of other searching or are searching your self, I would really like to chat with you and see if we are a match. I appreciate all the help I have received on this journey but find that most are already connected.
Gutgaa, is great what Deana is doing is amazing and no small task, I hope to forge some great friendships from participating. If you are interested please place a comment on this post. If you already have partner(s) but know someone who is searching, please share this post/my blog. I really appreciate your help.
Again thanks for stopping by, don't be a stranger.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Inspiration for my MS
What do you think when you see this picture?
I love this picture it's one of many that gives me inspiration for my current WIP. I know it's kinda cliche-ish, the princess lost in the woods can you see the white horse and the gallant prince and his men following behind on the way to rescue her. No my current MS doesn't take place in a forest, so why this photo.
To me it just screams magical and mythical. Who knows maybe it will inspire my next WIP.
I couldn't get it turned the right side up. Now you know my secret. Yes this has a lot to do with my current ms. I was pondering over rather to title the book Dawn or Sapphire's Dawn. My morning commute is just before daybreak it always makes me think of the characters in my book. Something about the sky the way the clouds dance and form the most amazing picture. I found it interesting and yet dangerous driving at this time because I can't take my eyes off the sky.
The water is also an inspiration, my MC is from an island and on my drive I cross a long bridge. As I cross all I see is water and sky(and cars of course if I'm paying attention...kidding of course), I love it. Peaceful and majestic, it makes me feel like I can step into my story, my fantasy.
Side Note: I love my ms, I can't wait to get it all out, not to share it with the world, but to see where my characters take me and where the end up.
*Excerpts* Sapphire's Dawn
After some valuable critique I decided to revise this excerpt see revisions here
I decided to post an excerpt from my WIP , as a part of GUTGAA, I am looking for a critique partner or a group. If this grabs your attention, or you would like to work with me Please leave me a comment below. Also if you have the time please take a moment to critique. Applying the golden rule of course, but I am not fragile.
“Where did she come from?”
“I don't know, the young ones found her near the water. She's not a familiar, so they brought her here before going to council and, before she was conscious. She has no light doc, that's impossible right?”
I could hear them but, I couldn't see them, I felt my eyes were open but, there was only darkness. The older male voice was the doctor, but I couldn't tell if the other voice was a male or female because of the high pitch tone. I was sure it was a teenager like me. I was so use to hearing this tone down every hall in school.
“No. It's not impossible for one of us to not have a light,” answered the doctor.
I know I'm dreaming again, when I hear familiar voices in my head. Is that Mrs. Kensington? OMG! Am I in class-
“What are you going to do with her doc?” the younger voice interrupted my thoughts of complete horror.
It seemed like only a few minutes had passed, when I hear the sound of many feet approaching all at once. I understand what they were saying, but the fear in their voices was evident even from a distance. There’s maybe three or four more voices in the room with the doctor and the boy with the high pitched voice. I knew this now because I heard someone call him Michael. The footsteps become louder as they get closer to me. “Impossible. How did she get here?” This voice was an even older man.
“We don't know the young ones found her near the forbidden waters unconscious, they brought her here when they noticed she had no light,” the doctor answered.
“We must get rid of her before the others knows she is here. We don’t need the threat of another uprising, our planet will not survive it. Let's call a gathering of all the elders at once, we will be rid of her by nightfall,”it was another older voice. I guess these are the elders he asked for.
“So is she a hybrid?” Michael’s voice was panicked, this scared me too although it was just a dream I could hear my heart thud behind my ears. Get rid of me what does that mean. Why can't I wake up. I have to get out of this dream before- I cringed at the thought.
The background noise in my head changes. I know I am no longer in class, the feel of weightlessness tells me my body is being moved. Now there is complete silence to add to the darkness. I need to awaken before I lose my mind completely.
“There are no such beings as hybrids, and we all thank you to not spread inexplicable notions. Are you trying to cause another uprising? Our kind can not mate with human. Those are just old fables told to the young ones to keep them from trouble. Doctor, you are too wise to believe such tales.”
“Well then, how do you explain this human girl with no light in our universe having survived the trip and our atmosphere?” The doctor was shouting in anger, and I couldn't help but wonder why I was still in this dream. It seems so real, why can't I wake up?
“I can't explain it, but in all my five centuries I have never seen a hybrid. This fact is not because we don’t believe in them, but because they simply can not and do not exist.To end this fruitless debate, I vote now that we destroy this being immediately it is already beginning to taint our views, and alter our judgement.”
All the voices in the room each vote yes to destroy me at once. The fact that this was just a dream gave little comfort as a jolt of fear course through me. I feel my body being whisked away swiftly as if I was on something with wheels. As it rolls faster my heart pounds to its rhythm. The temperature went from cool to bolstering hot. I could feel the sweat roll down my face and back. I’m having trouble breathing the heat is so stifling, my lungs ache searching for fresh air. It was getting hotter, I could feel my skin wither, like I was on fire. I let out a scream when I realized what was happening. There was no pain, just the feeling of suffocating. I scream louder, there was still only darkness the voices were gone. I felt something cold on my forehead, someone calling my name.
“Zara, wake up honey come back to us.” It was my mom I try to scream louder there is no sound, I can’t breathe. I could feel my moms hair brush against my cheeks, her breathe cool on my face. I attempt again to find air, I inhale coughing after filling my lungs, I exhale.I'm back.
I decided to post an excerpt from my WIP , as a part of GUTGAA, I am looking for a critique partner or a group. If this grabs your attention, or you would like to work with me Please leave me a comment below. Also if you have the time please take a moment to critique. Applying the golden rule of course, but I am not fragile.
“Where did she come from?”
“I don't know, the young ones found her near the water. She's not a familiar, so they brought her here before going to council and, before she was conscious. She has no light doc, that's impossible right?”
I could hear them but, I couldn't see them, I felt my eyes were open but, there was only darkness. The older male voice was the doctor, but I couldn't tell if the other voice was a male or female because of the high pitch tone. I was sure it was a teenager like me. I was so use to hearing this tone down every hall in school.
“No. It's not impossible for one of us to not have a light,” answered the doctor.
I know I'm dreaming again, when I hear familiar voices in my head. Is that Mrs. Kensington? OMG! Am I in class-
“What are you going to do with her doc?” the younger voice interrupted my thoughts of complete horror.
If being the new, don't touch or talk to me because, I am not interested in joining your clubs or cliques girl wasn't enough. I'm also the freak that falls asleep in class and narrate a vivid account of the voices in my head. Kill me now because it will take weeks for this to blow over. The last time this happened I stayed home for a week the taunts were unbearable. After a week of absences people were more worried about me having committed suicide or something more morbid then that.
“How is it possible for one of us not to have a light doc?” The voice shrieked
“Can you please go and get the other elders, tell them there is hybrid in our mist. They will know what to do.” I could tell the doctor was annoyed.
“A hybrid? But I thought they didn’t exist, the mere mention is what caused the last uprising” the voice was higher if at all possible. I could hear the urgency in it's footsteps as it turned and ran out of the room. Hybrid...huh. Why haven't I awakened? I can't recall being this aware or dreaming for this long. Focus Zara, you must wake up.
“How is it possible for one of us not to have a light doc?” The voice shrieked
“Can you please go and get the other elders, tell them there is hybrid in our mist. They will know what to do.” I could tell the doctor was annoyed.
“A hybrid? But I thought they didn’t exist, the mere mention is what caused the last uprising” the voice was higher if at all possible. I could hear the urgency in it's footsteps as it turned and ran out of the room. Hybrid...huh. Why haven't I awakened? I can't recall being this aware or dreaming for this long. Focus Zara, you must wake up.
It seemed like only a few minutes had passed, when I hear the sound of many feet approaching all at once. I understand what they were saying, but the fear in their voices was evident even from a distance. There’s maybe three or four more voices in the room with the doctor and the boy with the high pitched voice. I knew this now because I heard someone call him Michael. The footsteps become louder as they get closer to me. “Impossible. How did she get here?” This voice was an even older man.
“We don't know the young ones found her near the forbidden waters unconscious, they brought her here when they noticed she had no light,” the doctor answered.
“We must get rid of her before the others knows she is here. We don’t need the threat of another uprising, our planet will not survive it. Let's call a gathering of all the elders at once, we will be rid of her by nightfall,”it was another older voice. I guess these are the elders he asked for.
“So is she a hybrid?” Michael’s voice was panicked, this scared me too although it was just a dream I could hear my heart thud behind my ears. Get rid of me what does that mean. Why can't I wake up. I have to get out of this dream before- I cringed at the thought.
The background noise in my head changes. I know I am no longer in class, the feel of weightlessness tells me my body is being moved. Now there is complete silence to add to the darkness. I need to awaken before I lose my mind completely.
I heard a loud noise, as if a door was forced open, footsteps coming toward me again, as they got closer the voices became clearer. The doctor was back with the older voice they called elder, there were two voices I didn't recognize, but I could tell they were as old as this elder.
“It's the same one as before, how is this possible I thought you got rid of it doctor,” the first elder asked
“I did, I destroyed it just as you instructed. It can’t be the same one.” The doctor insisted.
Destroyed! I try to control the trembles that are erupting from my body. I don't want them to know I’m conscious. I can tell they are as afraid of me as I am of them.
“If you destroyed her why is she back? How is she back?” Another voice elder said.
The doctors voice was abrupt, “I think now the real problem is finding the portal and sealing it for good. Instead of worrying how or why she is back, let's make it impossible for her to return.”
“It's the same one as before, how is this possible I thought you got rid of it doctor,” the first elder asked
“I did, I destroyed it just as you instructed. It can’t be the same one.” The doctor insisted.
Destroyed! I try to control the trembles that are erupting from my body. I don't want them to know I’m conscious. I can tell they are as afraid of me as I am of them.
“If you destroyed her why is she back? How is she back?” Another voice elder said.
The doctors voice was abrupt, “I think now the real problem is finding the portal and sealing it for good. Instead of worrying how or why she is back, let's make it impossible for her to return.”
“They know we won't allow them to expose us, and why try now?” I recognize the first elder's voice. “ Has anyone else notice the most important factor? Not only does this girl not have a light, there is no way she could come through a portal or survived our atmosphere."
"so, she is a hybrid because," Michael questioned.
It is clear she is not one of us, nor is she the girl from the last time, she had to come from Earth having survived both she has to be is a hybrid.” as fast as the words left the doctors mouth a collective gasp filled the room, followed by silence.
“There are no such beings as hybrids, and we all thank you to not spread inexplicable notions. Are you trying to cause another uprising? Our kind can not mate with human. Those are just old fables told to the young ones to keep them from trouble. Doctor, you are too wise to believe such tales.”
“Well then, how do you explain this human girl with no light in our universe having survived the trip and our atmosphere?” The doctor was shouting in anger, and I couldn't help but wonder why I was still in this dream. It seems so real, why can't I wake up?
“I can't explain it, but in all my five centuries I have never seen a hybrid. This fact is not because we don’t believe in them, but because they simply can not and do not exist.To end this fruitless debate, I vote now that we destroy this being immediately it is already beginning to taint our views, and alter our judgement.”
All the voices in the room each vote yes to destroy me at once. The fact that this was just a dream gave little comfort as a jolt of fear course through me. I feel my body being whisked away swiftly as if I was on something with wheels. As it rolls faster my heart pounds to its rhythm. The temperature went from cool to bolstering hot. I could feel the sweat roll down my face and back. I’m having trouble breathing the heat is so stifling, my lungs ache searching for fresh air. It was getting hotter, I could feel my skin wither, like I was on fire. I let out a scream when I realized what was happening. There was no pain, just the feeling of suffocating. I scream louder, there was still only darkness the voices were gone. I felt something cold on my forehead, someone calling my name.
“Zara, wake up honey come back to us.” It was my mom I try to scream louder there is no sound, I can’t breathe. I could feel my moms hair brush against my cheeks, her breathe cool on my face. I attempt again to find air, I inhale coughing after filling my lungs, I exhale.I'm back.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Critique and BETA Connections
1) Name and a one sentence intro of who you are.
Paula Sangare. I am a mother, daughter, sister, wife, and BFF. I love all things beauty and writing has always been a secret passion.
2) What do you write (age target and general genres).
YA Fantasy
3) Are you ready to jump right in and begin submitting your work to another?
YES
4) Are you looking for a critique partner or a group?
I'm open to both
5) Would you prefer to submit weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or as needed? And how much would you like to submit each time (chapter, 2 chapters, etc)?
Weekly or Bi-weekly a chapter at a time.
6) What kind of critique feedback are you looking for?
I want the basics, as well as ideas on how I could maybe tighten a statement, or if it needs to be said differently to get my point across. I hope that answers this question.
7) How can I contact you? (email)
psangare51@gmail.comBETA READER
1) A brief introduction.
I'm a new author the MS I'm working on now is my second attempt. The first is still a work in progress. I finally decided to take the time to write seriously and dedicate time to write. I have a family and a business that keeps me busy, writing has become an escape.
2) Is it only for a current WIP or are you looking for someone long term?
I'm looking for someone long term
3) If current what is the project (a one sentence summary along with genre and age target)
YA Fantasy about Sapphire a seventeen year old high school student who learns Earth is not her home.
4) If long term what do you like to write (age target and general genres)
I love YA Epic Fantasy, and all it entails, I love creating new worlds
5) Do you have something ready now? When do you anticipate having something ready/needing a BETA Reader?I am on target to complete my MS by November 1st
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
GUTGAA!!! Meet and Greet Questions
-Where do you write?
I would love to snuggle in a chair big enough for my 5'9 frame to get lost in, with my laptop propped on my lap and my favorite drink (white chocolate mocha, soy milk 1 pump vanilla, 1 pump toffee nut, extra whip cream with my shots ristratto(i think that's spelled correct)) Thank God for Starbucks. Since I don't have that chair, I will curl up in my bed, on my couch, and yes at my local Starbucks, and allow my fantasy to spill out onto my computer.
-Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see?
Since I'm now sitting on my couch a place where I write often, to my left is my dinning room table. A place where I also creat, quality time over dinner with my family. My supportive husband and 2 of our 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys, 1 of which is at our dinner table often.
-Favorite time to write?
Sunrise, the freshness of a new day not only inspires me to write in general but the WIP I'm working on today reminds me of sunrise, the way the clouds run away or around the beckoning sun, as I inhale taking in a new day I am energized and can spit out 10,000 words:)
-Drink of choice while writing?
As I stated earlier, Starbucks is my drug of choice.
-When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence?
My mind is like the hamster in a cage running on that little wheel, it's constantly moving rapidly. Yes, I listen to music and watch movies. If it's too quiet I can hear the squeaking:)
-What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it?
My love for all things mythical, and magical. Each day I get the chance to hide away in my fantasy world. I love it, I don't have to wait on my favorite show, I can create one in my head whenever I want.
-What's your most valuable writing tip?
Get It In!!! My biggest problem was editing my WIP, before it was completed I spent a year revising, over and over, and a year later I found myself still revising. Here in year 2 on this MS, I have decided to just write don't edit until I have completed this Ms, and then I will tackle editing 1 chapter at a time.
For me, I work best if I don't focus on misppellings grammar and such just get the entire idea in.
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